#7 Don’t Dress For The Occasion

July 12th, 2010 by Nearly The Bionic Woman

Some flight attendants (a few years older than I am) remember the days before deregularion when every passender wore formal attire on an airplane. Some miss that era. I, on the other hand, don’t take offense to passengers being comfortable while traveling-as long as they remember sanitation. For instance, no one fancies sitting next to a broad chested, sweaty guy wearing a muscle shirt that reveals his armpit hair. And if you prefer wearing sandals, please leave your feet on the floor (not on the tray tavle bext to you), and don’t pick ythe flight between Memphis and Chicago to cut your toenails. It’s been done.

Due to the fact that many of our aircraft have sensitive heating systems and that many of your flight attendants are experienceing inflight hot flashes…., the temperature on many flights may be cooler than you would prefer. Wear long pants, bring a sweater, and grab a blanket during boarding before you sit down. (At least bring socks for the flight)

I believe that passengers’ brain cells must rust in the humidity of a Miami hotel room when dressing for the flight back to a northern destination. Despite the fact that they’ve live in the tundra all their lives, it temporarily slips their minds that they usually wear pants in Minnesota in January. Flight attendants will forever be puzzled by passengers wearing the same sandals, tank top and Bermuda shorts that they wore in the Bahamas exiting the aircraft onto a Minneapolis jetway and exclaiming with amazement how cold it is.

I must agree with JoAnn that while I realize it was really warm in Hawaii and you don’t want to leave, you are NOT going to Hawaii. So dress in layers and be prepared for your final destination. And, for the love of God, put some socks on your children. Just because you may be a fool doesn’t mean that they should have to suffer.

Enhanced by Zemanta
Print

Chicago, Illinois Museum of Science & Industry

July 9th, 2010 by Nearly The Bionic Woman

The German U-505- submarine exhibit in the Mus...

Image via Wikipedia

Tonight is when I leave for Chicago, working of course. *wink wink* What else is a girl to do in Chicago for 36 hours when she has her family in tow?

Go to the Museum of Science & Technology of course! I would love to see Jen Lancaster but she doesn’t even follow me on Twitter although I totally follow her! JK. I love her books because she is downright sarcastic and funny. Like, pee your pants funny. One day, I will make it to a book signing. For now, I will have to concentrate on the museum and the 7 year old.

Truth be told, I am really very excited myself. Quite a few passengers recommended this museum and my own research shows that all of us will love it! On top of lots of hands on activities, a U-505 USNavy captured German Sub, Trains and Omnimax movies, I hope that one day is even enough time to see it all. If not, I think that Chicago is like a 5 hour drive or something.

More on this later! Do you have any suggestions for a family friendly dinner that won’t cost a body part?? Thanks!

Well, the first thing that I learned is that if you would like to have a ONE day pass on the train and bus system, do not have the hotel drop you off at the train station! Online or at the airport is where you can get that. And, secondly, never trust the people at the train station fully because either he didn’t understand us (and yes, he spoke English) or the prices changed 5 hours later.

It was really, really easy to get to the museum from the O’hare airport. Take the BLUE LINE to the Loop (Jackson) and the number 6 or 10 bus to the museum. The #10 bus will drop you off right in front of the Museum itself, while the #6 is just short of it and allows for some lovely shots of the Museum and the grounds. All in all, I think it was less than $10 for the three of us. As soon as I can get my photos uploaded, I will add them. The outside of these building reminded me of something I would see in Italy. Roman style arches and statues of Goddesses line the outsides of each building. Walking even from a block away, green grassy parks cover the landscape as beautiful awe inspiring bold colored flowers dot the deep shades of green beckoning to be run through.

The building inside is nothing but modern and so wide open that I immediately get the impression we will not be able to get through the entire museum in one day. I was right. After four hours, we could have used another couple more if only our feet and the day would allow for more.

To your left as you first walk in to the museum itself, the U-505 Submarine, the Green House and the Omnimax theater are located. To the right, the entrance to the rest of the first floor. We walked through pictures of different planets, automobiles from different eras, including Mercedes Benz first car ever brought to the US for mass production and hands on activities for the kids. During our day, we saw aircraft hanging from the ceiling over top of model and replica trains. We saw lightening and a tornado in the Storm Center. Space crafts from days past and how to milk a cow the modern way.

I will definitely have to bring my son back to this particular museum another time. Everyone that left no matter the age, was impressed by their visit and plans to return.

Of course, I couldn’t come all this way and not walk across the street to at least see the shores of Lake Michigan. My friend used to call it the beach and being from Florida, I just laughed. She really was right. There were kids making sand castles and people swimming in the water just like at the beaches back home. A life guard walked back and forth making sure no one was hurt. The only thing missing were the waves. This was not necessarily a bad thing though since I could at least go in up to my knees without fear of being knocked down. I won’t lie and tell you that it was warm although the life guard says it was. I learned it was warm by their standards however, it was anything but warm. I shrieked as I walking in. This did not stop people from frolicking like children fully draped in the wet relief from the heat of the day. We didn’t want to leave so I will definitely bid for it again.

Enhanced by Zemanta
Print

Charlottetown, PEI Canada

July 3rd, 2010 by Nearly The Bionic Woman

 

Contour of Prince Edward Island, Canada

Image via Wikipedia

I am already sitting in the lobby of the Best Western on Prince Edward Island in Canada and it’s only 0621 here! That means that it’s 0521 at home. I woke up so hungry that I couldn’t stand it and my legs were already ready although the rest of me said “heck no”.

Breakfast isn’t until 0700 and I already so tired again that I may not make it before I am have to go back to sleep again for a little while longer.

Later on, we will enjoy the Charlottetown Summerfest to enjoy some of the activities going on including tons of music, a 3 on 3 hockey tournament and a petting zoo. Should be a great day. Oh yeah, let’s not forget the lumberjack show.

Enhanced by Zemanta
Print

#6 Ask For Two Departure Drinks

July 1st, 2010 by Nearly The Bionic Woman

This is the typical scenario while we are boarding an aircraft. The lead flight attendant and one coworker greet and scrutinize 170 boarding passengers, check catering supplies, fill ice buckets, make orange juice, prepare the galley for in flight service, unsure that 42 bins are closed and that 14 able-bodied people  (ABP’s) at the emergency exits are briefed,make two announcements and hang 22 coats.

That’s our workload if everything goes as planned–which it never does. Then there are a few more things we do: check bags, be briefed by a late captain, brief a late flight attendant, serve drinks to the cockpit, call catering for missing supplies, fill pillow and blanket requests and answer the numerous questions posed by passengers.

Besides these duties, the airline have deemed it necessary that we serve 22 first-class beverages against the flow of boarding passengers passing through the same two-foot aisle. You only need to imagine a salmon swimming upstream.

So is it really necessary that you down two scotch-and-waters during this time? I don’t know why these beverages are called what they are. Rarely can you finish one drink pre-departure, let alone two.

Print

Saying Hello Around the World

July 1st, 2010 by Nearly The Bionic Woman

As a flight attendant who works flights in and out of NYC, I like to learn Hello, Goodbye and Thank You in as many languages as I can. Yesterday, it was Polish!

Dzien Dobry

Traveling from Minneapolis/St. Paul, Minnesota to Toronto, Ontario, I had quite a few passengers on board from Poland. The first person I reached for beverage service just looked at me, pointed to herself and replied, “Me Poland”. This called for my well adjusted trick. I grabbed a Coke, a Sprite and an OJ out of the drawer and showed them to her.

Coke.

Then I showed her two glasses, one with ice and one without.

None.

Then, I went back into the galley with a napkin. On it, I drew a picture of a woman (to be my Mother) and wrote her maiden name under it (Polish) and a picture of a man (to be my Father) and wrote my last name (Italian) under him. I gave it to the lady. You would think she just found her long lost relative or something! That picture was passed around the front of the cabin while they all buzzed in their native tongue.

Later in the flight, I took a piece of paper and tried to ask her to write Hello in Polish for me. She obviously didn’t understand because she wrote down her name, address and phone number! I think that I will at least send a card.

What do you think she would do if I showed up at her house? :) I would definitely need to know more than just hello.

Enhanced by Zemanta
Print

Hotel Swimming Pools and Hot Tubs

June 30th, 2010 by Nearly The Bionic Woman

Swimming in the pool at the hotel today, I was wondering why the pool was blue and the hot tub looked green? First of all, I

pool and hot tub area
Image by Scorpions and Centaurs via Flickr

was a little grossed out by the greasy black film around the pool walls enough that I played as long as I could with my son and then took a shower as soon a I got to the room.

Of course, I Googled why the hot tub would be green and did not come up with favorable results. I will have to let the hotel front desk that green means it needs to be cleaned desperately. If you are in a hotel and choose to use the hot tub, use caution and shower right away after use.

Enhanced by Zemanta
Print

Comair: CRJ 70Seat Conversion First Class

June 29th, 2010 by Nearly The Bionic Woman

Finally, all 15 of Comair’s Canadair Regional Jet 70 seat aircraft has been retrofitted with first class. So, for those of you that travel first class but wind up in coach when your destination uses the medium size CRJ700, you will be able to have that first class seat. As long as it’s available of course. The company sent the aircraft down to Dothan, Alabama, where they removed 14 coach seats (and the forward lavatory) and refitted the it with 9 first class seats.

Beginning on July 1st, plans to include meals like on the CRJ900 with take place. Until then, which is of course only a couple of days, I have had whomever was scheduled to sit in 1a,b,c through 3a.b.c were the lucky recipients of the extra seat space. I wonder if they thought that all of the seats were like that? :) The bad part to this deal: only ONE bathroom. Yes, if you are in the first class cabin, you will have to walk past the 15 rows to get to the bathroom. A minor inconvenience unless you wait too long or have that third vodka tonic.

Why did Delta make these changes? I would like to think that they care that much about their passengers but….I was told by maintenance that the airline is only allowed to have so many aircraft with 70 seats or more. So, by making the conversion, it’s not only nice for those first class passengers, it allows them to order more CRJ900! Personally, I am not complaining. If that means 15 more new “90″ seat jets…woohoo! Trust me when I say that it’s not only nicer for you, the passenger. Nicer, cooler planes make nicer, cooler flight attendants.

Happy Travels!

A Bombardier CRJ-700 regional jet in Delta Con...
Image via Wikipedia
Comair (Delta Connection) CRJ-100ER N941CA at ...
Image via Wikipedia
Enhanced by Zemanta
Print

#5 Board the Plane Intoxicated

June 28th, 2010 by Nearly The Bionic Woman

I’ve always believed that if every flight attendant at my company were issued a shot of whiskey before each flight, her disposition would greatly improve and ours would be the airline of preference. But because your flight attendant are, hopefully, cold-stone sober (one of the FAR’s), we can easily identify the passengers who are not (another FAR). Even if you are on a flight to Las Vegas intoxication is not an excuse for being obnoxious or loud, and it can lead to ejection from a flight—preferable at the gate of departure.

So don’t bother saying good-bye to that airport bartender you’ve befriended wile drinking your last five drafts: you’ll be seeing him sooner than you think.

2004ish - Clint, Carolyn - tiny liquor bottles...

Image by Rev. Xanatos Satanicos Bombasticos (ClintJCL) via Flickr

liquor bottle

Enhanced by Zemanta
Print

Drinking In Flight

June 27th, 2010 by Nearly The Bionic Woman

“May I offer you a beverage sir?”, I ask.

“Yeah. I’ll take a Coke.”,replies the guy in 4c.

Have you ever poured a Coca Cola or even worse, a diet one? They pour like a beer. Pour too fast and the explosion will happen before you ever have the chance to catch it. A head the size of the cup like a souffle pushing its way over the ramekin. I tend to try and pour the refreshingly cold beverage sideways so the passenger can get it faster and I can get on to the next order faster although it still takes time and patience. So, I pour his Coke full to the top with care.

“May I have the whole can?”, he asks.

“Of course you may, sir.”, I reply with a hint of can I dump it on your head running through my mind.

If you know that you would like to have the whole soda, great. Enjoy two if I have it but please for the love of God and time please do NOT wait until I have already poured the whole thing to ask.

Enhanced by Zemanta
Print

If You Plan On Happy Hour, Don’t Bring Change

June 27th, 2010 by Nearly The Bionic Woman

We would love to accommodate your $100 bull for the $5 drink you ordered, but the galley is not supplied with a cash drawer and the nearest bank is the captain’s billfold.

A Classic Cash Register

Image by heath_bar via Flickr

Enhanced by Zemanta
Print

« Previous Entries Next Entries »