Okay first of all, I will admit that I have never been a very politically correct person. If I find it true, I will say it. If it will intentionally hurt someones feelings in a non necessary way, then I will keep my mouth shut. This topic however seems to be a growing issue and it affects my other passengers and my heart when it reaches the health of naive children so all bets are off.

If you are traveling on a public mode of transportation, then there are certain things you are forced to tolerate. It’s a fact of life, sorry. Crying children, bad smells, inconvenient times, whatever. One thing that I do not think you should have to tolerate is an obese person taking up your space. This doesn’t mean everyone should be rail thin. You know who you are.

Each passenger pays for their own seat on the airplane and they should have that right. They pay for the space under their own seat to place their bag (as long as it fits properly) and shouldn’t have to share with the person next to them if they do not want to or to feel blocked in by the other person’s bag, as it is a safety issue in my book. A friend of mine worded it perfectly when she said, “You have all the rights in the world until your rights overlap someone else’s.”

So, what happens when the person who’s ticket puts them in the seat right next to you is the size of more than just their seat? I’m not talking broad shoulders here people, I am talking about just plain fat. Should you have to lean to the left or right the whole flight or like I saw the other day, completely trapped up against the wall of the fuselage? NO! We are not allowed to say anything technically; however, if I have an empty row or a seat that would be a better fit, I will find a way to gently suggest/ask if one of the passengers would like to move. If however, you are that person smashed cheek to wall, PLEASE say something. We will not make a big deal about it. You can simply right a note, excuse yourself to the bathroom (then come see us) and let us know you are not comfortable with it. A customer service agent trained in this matter will come out to the plane and if there is no were to move the passenger, then they will have to take a later flight. I know it sucks but they should have thought about the other person’s rights they may be sitting next to. Southwest Airlines makes these people who choose this lifestyle buy two seats!

When I asked our gate agents why “we” don’t do this, they replied that they didn’t want to offend the large passenger. Of course, I wondered about the offense being offered to the other passenger(s). Do you want to risk offending and possibly losing the one large passenger or how ever many passengers they sit next to during their airline flights?

I had a large woman on my flight last month that had purchased two seats and I wanted so badly to thank her for being so kind and responsible! It’s amazing that some people are so thoughtful.

My other thought process is the obese children that I have seen more and more of lately on my aircraft! The Mom yesterday actually ordered a full glass of Coke and two packs of cookies for her overweight little boy! “The Coke helps his ears she says.” Really? The sugar isn’t doing a thing for his body there dear! He’s only 5 and you should be ashamed of yourself!

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Is there such a thing as shoes good enough to withstand four days of standing?

Can I please have a pair??

Today is the forth day of work and I am happily typing from the bus on my way home. Really, I cannot even count the first day because I was only wearing these shoes for a few hours. The problem is that I hardly had any time on the ground in between any one of my flights or on the overnights. What was scheduled as an hour or more in each city was quickly turned into minutes due to delays and weather. A whole lot of hurry up and wait going on this week.

I suppose if I would just sit down more often, it wouldn’t be a problem however, it seems that the second that I sit down someone needs something. So, it’s pure paranoia that keeps me on my feet. Seriously, I really do worry that someone will need something and not tell me because I’m sitting down. So I just stand and walk and look around. That’s okay though because I can become bored quite easily unless I have someone to talk to or something to do or read.

So, here I am with feet still screaming and begging for a break. What’s a girl to do?

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Now that the summer is winding down and the kids are back in school, I reminisce about the last couple of months. My son has just started second grade and is in the on again off again allowance of the hug already, so it was really nice to be able to spend a lot of time with him instead of the summer camp that he went to last year. I just hope that he had as much fun with Mom and Dad as he did with his friends at the pool.

Each week, I bid for a trip that kept me in some city around the destination map for over 30hours. One week we were in Chicago and another Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island. We visited Central Park in New York City and more close to home, Dayton, Ohio. Each week, another chance to both hang out and see new sites.

I am not sure which one he would think was the most exciting, however, I have a feeling it may be Chicago. We took the train into the city and then a bus to the Museum of Science and Industry. Getting to the Museum was part of the fun as we counted down the stops and watched people get on and off at each station. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to see all of the things there that I wanted to but there’s always next time.

The bus was really quite easy to find and actually was right around the corner from where the train dropped us as promised. The ride took us swiftly away from the city skyscrapers, to follow along lake Michigan in all it’s majesty. Chicago certainly does not lack any green spaces and parks to enjoy, which is a wonderful contrast to the concrete and glass of downtown. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE the city life, however, when you have a child, you become more appreciative of open spaces to run and play.

There are two buses that I noticed from the downtown train station to the Museum, the #6 and the #10. We took the 6 because it was the first one to arrive. The only difference is a short walk and I am happy to say the #6 bus gives a view that you just would not have enjoyed by being dropped off at the front doors. Set back across the street and past a vast green lawn is where the bus drops it’s guests off. In front of you stands a Roman treasure, with columns and statues, grand steps and beautiful gardens. It’s building after building where treasures are held beckoning it’s visitors.

The walk into the museum hold it’s own although in a completely modern way, a drastic comparison to the outside architecture. I could go on and on about the museum itself however, I will leave you with this: Go early in the morning and plan to stay all day. We will definitely go back.

After our 4 hour visit to the Museum, my son and I went across the street to “the beach”. The first time that I heard that, I laughed. Coming up from Florida, I laughed that they call some lake, the beach. Then, I saw it. Of course, there are ripples where waves would be and the tide never “comes in”, like I asked.

Suppose I should brush up on my bodies of water. There are beautiful rocks to sit on, sand to build castles and a grill restaurant that will make you up your choice of eats. I have heard that the water in Lake Michigan is quite frigid, so I cautiously reached a toe into the water. Yes, it was cold but not as bad as expected so we did manage  to step deeper into the water reaching our knees. It really was quite nice and I look forward to going back one day.

I wonder if I will get to spend time like this next year with the boy? Or will he be “too old”? I doubt it.

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It’s that time again. The time when the kids go back to school thus making bidding for a schedule with the airline a lot more difficult. During the summer, it doesn’t matter what time of the day I have to go to work or what time I get home. Once school starts, I cannot decide if I want to work the weekends and possibly miss my son for a day or two when he is not busy and we can do whatever we want or do I want to be home and miss getting him ready for school. Should I be home on a Monday to get him ready for his first day of the school week.Can I bid for a trip that my family can come with me? It’s all a big gamble and yet so exciting that it’s a love/hate relationship.

It’s also ballet time again! It’s a very exciting time of the year when the dancers are back. Not that they’ve gone anywhere however, the ballet season starts and this year looks really exciting.

Of course, the first production of the season is New Works! Luckily for me, it runs for a “long time” September 9th- 19th. 10 whole days that I can go so there’s no chance of missing it.

In October is the one that I am really waiting for. Sleeping Beauty! Can you believe it? Not only is this a beautiful classic love story one that I have never seen in ballet form, it will be danced at Music Hall. I really think that this is one of the most beautiful buildings in Cincinnati and cannot wait for October to come.

December brings us the infamous Nutcracker that for me never gets old. In fact, it’s more like tradition so even if you have seen it before, each years dancers and choreographer can bring their own element to the beloved holiday event.

February is another new one for me. A Midsummer Night’s Dream, choreographed by Victoria Morgan is one that I have to admit, I know nothing about. I will need to do a bit of research on the story line and look forward to it being acted out by my friends there at the Cincinnati Ballet.

The season ends with two ballets that are World Premier’s and guaranteed to excite as they do each year. In March,  Adam Hougland (The Firebird) and George Balanchine (Theme and Variations), both choreograph the production and “apply their contemporary vision to Stravinsky’s classical masterwork”.  In April, the Cincinnati Ballet brings love songs from the band Over The Rhine to life through their dancers.

The entire season sounds like a must see and I will certainly have to bid accordingly to not miss a moment at home or with my ballet friends through which I live my life as a flight attendant with a knee replacement who only dances in her dreams. They know I love them and my family loves me, so life is good.

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We say: “Ladies and gentlemen, we have been cleared to land. At this time please check once again that your seat belts are fastened, place all tray tables and seat backs in the upright and locked position and be sure that all personal belongings are securely stowed.”

Passengers hear: “If you go really quickly, you have about 3 minutes to go to the bathroom and get back to your seat before we actually touch down! GO NOW!”

It is 0600 and I am praying that this coffee keeps me from falling face first onto the galley floor!

I understand that you cannot control everyone and yet when you stay in hotels for a living, you really should understand what it’s like to be on the other side of that door.

This hotel in particular is a bit different than your typical hotel. Instead of the same old neutral colors, the owner decided to cover every wall with either a large mural, or a vibrant color. Lots of Blue, which is why it’s called Indigo. I hope it’s safe to assume that thought. The problem is that I believe that more thought was put into the aesthetics, um color scheme, than the details such as soundproofing. This would attest to the fact that I was so rudely awakened four times last night by both possible drunken guest and just those that simply do not understand that voices travel in large buildings and under doors with poor noise cancellation technology.

So, for goodness sake, if you stay in a hotel, any hotel, could you please KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN IN THE HALLWAYS!

If you stay at this hotel, keep in mind that it is very colorful and busy. Not necessarily a bad think however, if you are not able to sleep in such busy spaces then this might not be the choice for you. The floors are tile and laminate, which does not fair well for the child who decides to move the heavy tray with real glass glasses on top of the high bed (experienced that last month). The furniture is all new and nice and the bed is pretty comfortable and quite firm. The pillows are feather, so be sure to ask for alternatives if you need them. The work out room is actually quite nice, containing  an elliptical, two treadmills and two bikes all updated equipment including a weight training center. I took a look at the pool at hot tub although there were too many children in both for me so I decided to skip that. I can say from experience that it was a nice size and also nice to have the hot tub since not all hotels offer that.

Co-Workers….

Before I started working as a flight attendant, I worked in an office. An office with 5 women including myself. One was okay and apparently used to babysit me so I got along with her pretty well. Unfortunately, she was not always there. Another was also pretty nice although rarely ever there (it was a travel agency). The woman that worked at the desk behind me was a total doll and I loved working with her. She eventually started working from home so that she didn’t have to deal with the office drama and I don’t blame her. If I could have, I would have!

Most of the drama came from the “B” in the office who enjoyed making my life Hell. Instead of helping me with the paperwork when I didn’t quite get it, she would come out and practically scold me. Or so this is how I saw it.
The day that I was told that I wasn’t allowed to take my vacation with my boyfriend “because no one was taking summer vacations” although Miss. Perfect that was rarely there anyway (not the office lady) was exempt from this rule, I quit. I understand the whole seniority thing but favoritism doesn’t fly with me. Perhaps that stems from being an only child?

When I started as a flight attendant, we only had one aircraft and it only had one flight attendant. Life was good. Then, we got the CRJ (Canadair Regional Jet) and life was even better because I could hear myself think, unlike on the prop plane. Then, it happened. We got a jet. With two flight attendants. Oh, heck no! I avoided that sucker like the plague.

One day, I got stuck on it…the jet… in the back, working with another woman in a small round tube with no escape for days….

It was fantastic!

Who knew what I had been missing all those months? Of course, what happens if I get paired up with some wench that think she’s my boss. I would just die, right? Over the last 12 years, I have flown with pretty much only two types of people with the rare exception of “hope I never fly with you again”.

Wish I could fly with you for the rest of the month.
Nice flying with you but couldn’t care either way if we fly together or not.

The last trip was, well, not the best but that’s okay because it was only two flights spanned over three days. (yes, a very long “layover”). The person that I worked with didn’t smile much, and was a little rigid. Unlike the last few people that I had flown with where we laughed the entire time and had fun with the passengers. I messed up on something minor that was easily fixed since it was just a misunderstanding and yet she felt the need to talk to me about WHILE I was serving the passengers in coach! “Can we talk about this when I get back to the galley please”? I actually felt it necessary to apologize to the passenger that she totally embarrassed along with myself and explain the mix-up.  Ugh!

Another one, I had to keep telling to calm down and relax. After totally and completely apologize to the passengers telling them that she was sick and it was a long day and she really didn’t mean it and is normally a really nice person and…Come on people, work with me here.

I know that I am not the only one who runs into to this situation. I just wonder if it’s just a “woman” thing or if it happens in offices with mostly male personnel?

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Or, why can’t you just sit down?

In order to remain as politically correct as possible, I will refrain from divulging the ethnicity of the worst passengers although I will say that they are not from the US. Actually on the flight I am thinking of, there was one guy that was, which just makes him either stupid or arrogant.

Picture this. The passengers are boarding. One person walks on, stows their bag and sits down. The next person follow suit and so on. Then, the family of 8 (no young children) all foreigners traveling to NYC comes on. Aside from the fact that I felt like I should start playing some music for the musical chairs game, there was the bag situation. Maybe it should go at my feet? No, the overhead. No, my feet. No, a different overhead. Ooh, I forgot my book. Oh, you need your snack. Let’s just get the whole bag down again.

“Don’t mind me sir, I’ll just wait until you finish until I can finally take my seat”, possible thoughts of the passengers behind this guy.

Wait, I want to sit next to someone else for the next hour. No, I’ll just sit back over there.

Can I have my magazine out of that bag?

Maybe you should just put it at my feet? No, the overhead so I can stretch out my feet.

They all take their seats and two people pass them. And…they’re up again. It was one older male and one teenage girl to be exact. The others only needed 5 minutes to decide where they wanted to sit. The bag is out again.

I turned in my passenger count to the flight crew and began to grab my demo equipment. The main cabin door is closed. I turn and see Mr. Doesn’t want to sit down up again. At this point I simply yell out “Sit”! I turned my back for a second and the girl was up. Are you freakin kidding me? “Sit, sit, sit”!, as I walk to the back.

They look at me like I am the crazy one!

I stand there, safety card in hand only to realize that my exit row guy is now standing up. UGH! “Sit”!

“What’s the problem? We are not even moving yet”, he asks sarcastically. “Sir, the main cabin door is closed and the ramp agent will push us back at any second now”, I reply ever so kindly. “But I need something out of my bag”, says the DA in the exit row.

First of all, I think because the last 20 minutes wasn’t enough time and do I really want this idiot in my exit row?

“Since they care a lot less about my safety than yours, how about I get that bag down for you”?

With total disgust, he complies.

Of course, during the flight, the older male wanted me to leave drinks for the rest of the clan who were all passed out sleeping with their heads completely covered. Why not, right? Better get your monies worth before that 20 hour flight back to where you came from.

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You have two choices–we can find an open space for your bag or we can gate-check it for you. Gate-checking allows you to check last minute bags at the gate of departure or at the doorway of the aircraft. This is a very convenient service and makes it almost impossible for the ramp rats… to load your luggage on the wrong airplane.

We wouldn’t have weight standars or be required to wear nyons, pumps and dresses, and we would have been issued back braces with our boarding hats if our job was to stow every passenger’s fifty-pound bag in the overhead bin.

And please don’t sit down in resignation wearing a dense look on your face while waiting for your luggage to magically stow itself. It wont happen.

In today’s Wall Street Journal, I saw an ad ‘The Good Old Days of Air Travel: Were They?’ and had to read on. They speak of how different eras in time mean different things to people and what they consider the good old glamour days of travel versus the cattle call transportation of today.

Passengers want to pay nothing and receive everything. They want to show up in pajamas and be treated with the utmost respect as if they were at a 5 star restaurant.

I want to know what happened to dressing up a little (at least in something you would wear to dinner; not McDonalds) to take a flight. Last week, we had an African woman and her two sons on board fully dressed up! They are Americans going to visit family in Africa and the boys had never been. All three of them were dressed as if they had somewhere important to go. They did. The boys dressed in suit and tie, the woman in a beautiful dress. Of course, we felt sorry for the boys because can you imagine being a child traveling across the ocean in a suit?!

When I travel, I wear a comfortable dress that is long enough to fall asleep in and that doesn’t wrinkle. It’s black and white with an attached belt and looks classy enough to wear to a nice dinner without being uncomfortable sitting for a longer period of time. So why, do some people feel compelled to wear tank tops (men) and sweat pants or ratty old t-shirts that really have seen better days?

As far as meals are concerned, food prices along with fuel have gone way up and ticket prices do not compensate for the increase. So, you pick your battles. On my airline we offer the following (for FREE):

Coke, Diet Coke, Sprite, Fresca, Club Soda, Tonic Water, orange juice, apple juice, cran-apple juice, tomato juice, Bloody Mary mix, bottled water, hot tea and hot coffee.

Biscoff cookies, dry roasted peanuts and pretzels

What more could you want for the price of your tickets than a safe trip from point A to B? I read how someone had the nerve to say that they “paid $200 for apple juice”! Really? And the airplane ride was for free?

If you pay that extra thousand bucks (just guessing) for First Class seat or get upgraded because you’re nuts and travel way too much, then you can even have a free cocktail and some Sunchips. Occasionally if the flight is long enough, a cold chicken salad or sandwich.

Personally, I love my job and love making every passengers trip wonderful no matter how much they paid for their travel. I treat them all as if it were a 5 star airline and it makes my day better to make there’s better.

As far as security is concerned, Mr. McCartney, up until about 10 years ago or so, there wasn’t a need to check every square inch of a person’s body and their belongings to make sure that they didn’t want to blow up the aircraft and not just take a vacation with their family to the nations capital.

So, dress appropriately, show some respect and be kind to the people that are trying to get you to your destination as safely and quickly as possible and it should be a pretty good ride. Oh yeah, bring a sandwich!

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