This is the typical scenario while we are boarding an aircraft. The lead flight attendant and one coworker greet and scrutinize 170 boarding passengers, check catering supplies, fill ice buckets, make orange juice, prepare the galley for in flight service, unsure that 42 bins are closed and that 14 able-bodied people  (ABP’s) at the emergency exits are briefed,make two announcements and hang 22 coats.

That’s our workload if everything goes as planned–which it never does. Then there are a few more things we do: check bags, be briefed by a late captain, brief a late flight attendant, serve drinks to the cockpit, call catering for missing supplies, fill pillow and blanket requests and answer the numerous questions posed by passengers.

Besides these duties, the airline have deemed it necessary that we serve 22 first-class beverages against the flow of boarding passengers passing through the same two-foot aisle. You only need to imagine a salmon swimming upstream.

So is it really necessary that you down two scotch-and-waters during this time? I don’t know why these beverages are called what they are. Rarely can you finish one drink pre-departure, let alone two.